Five years ago my friend Courtney was in hospice care. My stomach would drop anytime my phone rang in anticipation of “the call”. I did end up receiving that call a couple of days after Christmas that year. It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years since I lost my friend to brain cancer. Watching your friend fight for her life in her early 20s impacts you. As I reflect on our friendship and the last few years we had together I’m realizing now how well she suffered.
Eternal Focus
Courtney kept an eternal focus throughout her trial. She grounded herself in the truth of the Gospel. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23). She believed and it gave her confidence that cancer might take her earthly life, but it couldn’t take her soul. Courtney had this sweet close connection with God and it was beautiful to witness. She had security that she knew she would be with God and be healed in heaven.
Create
As Courtney endured treatments and waited for test results she spent the time crafting. She wasn’t idle, but created instead. I benefited from this outlet. One of my favorite things she made for me was a calendar. Each month she had photos of sweet memories of our friends and marked our birthdays. Although that year is long gone, I hold on to that sweet calendar. I know many others got sweet little gifts in her season of crafting. I see now that it was a safe outlet for her as she patiently waited in her suffering.
Keep Moving Forward
No one really knows how many days they have. But as Courtney met that reality more clearly with a terminal illness she didn’t give up daily living. In fact, she diligently studied and finished her college degree. She worked for a campus ministry and invested in friendships with international students. At my wedding she went above and beyond filling in all the odd jobs from handing out programs to cleaning up reception dishes. She served even though she was suffering. She kept moving forward.
I miss Courtney. She was one of those friends that you could be completely honest with and not worry what she would think of you. As I endure my own trials I wish I could call her up and talk about everything that is going on. However, she has left me with these ways to endure suffering well. So, in times of suffering I hope to take a page from her playbook and turn my focus to God, create and keep moving forward.
This is a good meditation to head toward the new year on.