Eli’s birth story

Harper was shy of her first birthday when we learned we were pregnant. Both my husband and I grew up with siblings close in age and we loved it. So we were excited – a little overwhelmed that we were doing this again so soon –  but overall really happy that we would have children close in age. 

Eli’s birth story really begins at his 20 week ultrasound.

Prenatal Complications 

Harper’s birth and diagnosis took away my innocence and blind faith that everything would be ok with this child. As we went into the 20 week ultrasound appointment there was some anxiety on how it would go. We were considered high risk because of having a child with Down syndrome already. Although we chose not to have extra genetic screening, we did agree for the doctors to take an extra close look at the baby’s heart. 

The ultrasound started off great with the baby revealing his gender easily. It was a boy! Then the ultrasound tech finished up the scan and left the room. As we waited for the doctor and time lingered on, we started to get an uneasy feeling. Something felt wrong. The doctor finally came in and said they found some extra fluid around the heart and lungs – a slight pleural effusion. She calmly delivered this news and didn’t seem very worried at this point. She wanted us to come back in 4 weeks. 

Waiting and the unknown

I left crushed. It was stepping into the unknown again. As we looked up a little about pleural effusions the results ranged from losing our baby to resolving and having nothing to worry about. We just had to wait. We held this information privately, but shared the news widely that we were expecting a little boy. People responded excitedly, but I wasn’t able to fully rejoice in my news with this lingering unknown. 

Four weeks passed slowly and we anxiously went to the next appointment. The ultrasound was beautiful. The pleural effusion had resolved! We were so happy. The doctor asked us to come back in another 4 weeks and we were happy to oblige. 

The weeks flew by this time and we were looking forward to putting this behind us. As the follow-up ultrasound went on, the tech got very quiet. As soon as she left the room, we looked at each other and immediately agreed that something wasn’t right. The doctor came in and explained that they were now seeing fluid around his stomach – an ascites. It was slight and again didn’t seem to worry the doctor. We were just advised to keep a close watch on our baby and weekly ultrasounds started. Ultrasounds went from an exciting treat to a long appointment drenched in anxiety for me. 

As I neared 32 weeks, things went from little concern to worrisome. I was getting extremely uncomfortable, but just chalked it up to being pregnant and chasing Harper.

Tuesday, October 8 – 31 weeks, 6 days 

I went to my normal OB appointment and she was surprised to see that I was measuring full term. In the course of two weeks my pregnant belly had stretched from 30 to 40 weeks and believe me, I felt it. I was at capacity. She asked me to make an appointment to see her the following week, even though I wasn’t at the point of weekly appointments yet. I knew something was up.  

Wednesday, October 9 – 32 weeks 

The next day I went for my weekly ultrasound. They noticed higher amniotic fluid and wanted to monitor his heart. So I was taken to another room where they put the heart monitor on. I was on the verge of tears trying to stay still long enough for them to get a satisfactory heart reading. At the end of this excruciating long appointment they told me if I didn’t feel the baby move call immediately. I tried to remain calm, but this kind of freaked me out. We also learned at this appointment that they could remove some of the amniotic fluid to give me relief. However, there were risks associated with this procedure. 

Thursday, October 10 – 32 weeks, 1 day 

I was miserable. I was exhausted. I felt like I was going to burst. My mind couldn’t fathom making it 8 more weeks to my due date. I called the doctor to ask if there was anything I could take to help me feel better. She said no. This was so hard to hear. The pool was the only place I could feel some sort of relief, so I joined the YMCA for easy access to a pool for the remainder of my pregnancy. I went to bed that night and surprisingly slept decent considering I was also battling horrible reflux that plagued me if I tried to lay down. 

Friday, October 11 – 32 weeks, 2 days 

I woke up early to a different uncomfortable feeling. It felt as if I was having contractions, but it felt different than when I went into labor with Harper. As I waited for my doctor’s office to open, I got ready for the work day and called my mom to come watch Harper. Luke and I headed to see my doctor. We thought we would go in to have some of the amniotic fluid released and then be back in a few hours. I was 32 weeks, the thought of having my baby didn’t even cross my mind. I even left my computer up because I figured I would return to work later that day. 

We arrived to see my doctor and they could tell by my demeanor that something was wrong. They tried the heart monitor again. I cried out in pain because I couldn’t stay still, so they sent me down to labor and delivery. At this point I still didn’t think we would be having the baby. The preliminary plan was to stop contractions and remove some amniotic fluid. 

More waiting and more monitoring

When I got back to the room, they started me on some medications to stop the contractions. We were a bit of a medical mystery. Multiple doctors and nurses were trying to figure out what was going on. The doctor that specializes in removing the amniotic fluid wasn’t available till the afternoon, so we just waited. I was absolutely uncomfortable laying in the bed hooked up to everything. 

Finally, it was late afternoon and the ultrasound doctor came and took a look. Removing amniotic fluid can cause early labor. So, they advised that I stick it out a little longer to get another steroid shot to help Eli’s lungs develop in case it sent me back into labor. So, there we were left in limbo and staying the night. At this point we were still under the impression that we would get some fluid removed the next day and be on our way. Then I settled in for another uncomfortable night. The nurses were full of compassion, but there just wasn’t anything they could do to remove the pressure. 

Saturday, October 12 – 32 weeks, 3 days – Eli’s birthday 

Saturday morning rolled around and they continued to monitor everything. All the doctors were discussing my case and trying to figure out what was going on. At some point in the late afternoon, we couldn’t wait any longer. My bloodwork and vitals started to be negatively affected by staying pregnant, so they made the call for a c-section. 

Although this was another emergency c-section, it was a completely different experience than Harper’s. Even though it was very critical that I had my baby right away, it wasn’t as rushed and I found peace in the familiarity and the anticipated relief as they rolled me into the OR. 

When the spinal block went in, the pressure was exchanged for relief and it felt absolutely amazing. I experienced peace and calmness during the procedure, which was such a gift from God. They delivered Eli just before 5pm. 

We didn’t hear him cry. We didn’t get to hold him. We barely saw him. His swollen belly was covered with a lot of blankets as they whisked him away. Here I was again, welcoming a baby in a way I never expected. 

Surgery & Recovery 

Honestly, I didn’t have the capacity to worry about anything at this point. I was just relieved that the pressure was over and we could work towards recovery. After delivery they discovered that Eli would need surgery to resolve a blockage in his intestines. This is what caused the extra fluid for both of us. 

Luke got a quick visit with Eli before they transferred him to another hospital that night to prepare him for surgery the next day. Luke handled all the conversations with the doctors about Eli and did his best to keep me updated.

On Sunday we entertained family and close friends. It was if each person was glad to see I was alive. It was a strange experience. Even Harper knew something was off. My mom brought her for a quick visit and she did not like seeing me in the hospital bed. However, having these visitors was a nice distraction from the fact that my baby was at a different hospital having critical surgery on his second day of life. I wouldn’t get to see him for a few more days as my bloodwork was still not in normal ranges and I had to stay put. 

As soon as we were released, we went straight over to see Eli at the other hospital. And wow what a sight. He was doing well all things considered, but he was hooked up to all sorts of machines and I couldn’t even hold him. And so began the next part of Eli’s story, his 66 days in the NICU, but that is a story for another day. 

Reflections on Eli’s birth

I walked out my door on a warm Friday morning in October at 32 weeks pregnant and returned on a Tuesday afternoon with an empty belly. This was the second time I experienced a traumatic birth. This was the second time I had to leave my baby behind in the NICU. It wasn’t supposed to be this way and it was heart wrenching. 

As I write this months after, I’m now realizing on a different level how scary and life-threatening this whole birth was for not only Eli, but myself as well. I’m so thankful this is the story I’m writing down. It is full of intense lows and highs, but we made it through. My story is one of resilience. While I would never have chosen this path, God gave us the strength to persevere and I love the two little children He has entrusted to me.