5 tips to survive the NICU

Whether it’s days or weeks, a NICU stay is hard. It is emotionally draining and physically exhausting as it interrupts your at-home recovery time. Since you didn’t get to take your baby home with you straight away, there’s a sense of loss and missing out. It’s a waiting period with little control. Well, let’s be real control is something that flies out the door with motherhood, but there are things like a NICU stay that send it even further away. 

You know that this is good for your baby, but the wait can be excruciating. 

Harper was in the NICU for nine days and while looking back that seems short now, in the moment it felt so long. After time to process, I realized there were some things that really helped me through this period. Here are five tips that helped me survive the NICU. 

1. Let the tears flow

There is no need to hold back your emotions during this time. If you need to cry, let the tears flow. If you need to laugh, don’t feel guilty for enjoying a moment during a hard time. Not only are you dealing with the normal emotions of having a baby, but you are also navigating an unexpected medical stay. Bottling up your emotions is just asking for an explosion later. However, if it feels unbearable please seek help in trusted family members, friends or your doctor. 

2. Fill your arms with a stuffed animal

When your baby is in the NICU, it means they are not constantly in your arms. You are separated from this baby that you literally carried with you everywhere for nine months and it feels so weird. After Harper was born, my mom bought me a pink teddy bear. I slept with that bear every night until Harper came home. I know it sounds silly to be a grown woman sleeping with a stuffed animal, but it helped. It was something physical that I could hold when my arms longed to be cradling my little girl. So, pick out a stuffed animal, blanket or some other physical object that can bring you comfort while you wait. 

3. Visit with close family and friends

Isolation is rarely a good idea. Yes, you don’t want people around 24/7 because you need those moments to let out your emotions in private, but I found that spending time with close family and friends was helpful. It was a nice distraction during this trial. We had friends over to play games and went out to eat with family. Find the people you are most comfortable with and don’t be afraid to initiate a visit. 

4. Go see your baby

We could visit or call our NICU at anytime. Knowing we were just a phone call or a few minutes drive away from an update on Harper brought a sense of relief. Since I was also physically recovering from birth, visits were draining. We tried to do 1-2 short visits per day. Sometimes I would feel guilty for not staying longer, but it was just so exhausting. If I didn’t have the physical stamina for a visit, we would call and get an update from the nurses. Our NICU nurses were great and it probably helped that they loved Harper! She was over 9lbs at birth, so she looked like a giant in the NICU, but that made for one chunky baby to hold. Go visit your baby and enjoy those moments! 

5. Rest

This is easier said than done, but you do get the strange gift of rest when your baby is in the NICU. Take advantage of this opportunity to get a little more sleep. While you might still have to wake up to pump, if you are planning to breastfeed, you still can sleep a lot more than if the baby was with you. We took naps and had time to take it slow before bringing Harper home. Take advantage of this extra rest you can get before it’s your turn for around the clock baby care. 

Everyone faces challenging situations different and what might be helpful for some, is not helpful for others. I wanted to share what helped me get through our NICU stay and I hope that it helps others. To the mama who has faced a NICU stay, what helped you get through it?