What Down syndrome brings to the first day of school

Milestones are different when you have a child with Down syndrome. Most things come at a slower pace. Harper didn’t walk till she was two years old and we are still waiting for her to talk. But dropping her off for her first day of school at our local public elementary school came faster. At three years old, our county offers preschool for children with special needs and developmental delays. 

So, we found ourselves on a hot August morning, packing up a backpack the size of Harper and dropping her off at preschool for a full day. For the first time, I feel like I’m ahead. I’m experiencing this milestone earlier than my fellow mamas of three-year-olds. Yes, they might be sending them off to private preschool, but dropping your kid off at the elementary school has a different feel. We are starting our journey in the school system, one that will last many years. And it feels like a big deal – in an exciting way. 

No tears here 

I’m not feeling sad. There were no tears shed. Sure, I was a little nervous about sending her for such a long day away from home. But overall I’m feeling very positive about this new experience. Not struggling with this transition has surprised me because one of the first things I feared after getting Harper’s Down syndrome diagnosis was sending her to school. 

But there are a few things I’m leaning on that have alleviated those fears I had in the early days of her diagnosis. 

Loving new people & places

All our previous experiences show that Harper loves new people and places. Quickly warming up and handing out hugs, high fives, and the occasional kiss to the people she encounters. She transitions with ease, so why would school be any different? I don’t want to hold my little social butterfly back. So, I’m confident Harper will enjoy her days at school, which makes this transition so much easier. And Harper is just an amazing little girl that brings joy where she goes. And I want to share that light with more people. 

Less scheduling & meals

At just two months old Harper started therapy. I’m very thankful for the extra support. For the most part, her therapists would come to our home – super convenient. But it was still a scheduling process to handle. Now all her therapy will be taken care of on her two days at school. No more outside scheduling. And I’m excited that the task is off my to-do list. 

Mealtime is probably one of our most stressful times with Harper. We will sit her down to eat and she will just throw her whole plate of food. But here’s the fun part. That doesn’t necessarily mean she is done or that she doesn’t want to eat that food. It truly is a mystery to us all on what is going on. So, someone (usually me) has to be a very active participant with her during mealtime, often giving her one bite at a time. It’s exhausting. So, now two days a week someone else can work with her for lunch. And I’m really excited about this not only because it gives me a break, but I’m also hopeful that someone else working with Harper on this skill will help her. 

Communication is more than words

Harper doesn’t talk yet, but don’t confuse talking with communication. I went to school for communication studies, so I know that anywhere between 70-90% of communication is nonverbal. And the knowledge of that gives me comfort as I send my daughter away for a full day of school when she can’t tell me with words how the day went. 

But I know things are good because of so many nonverbal cues. She is smiling at dropoff and pickup. She runs to the door when it’s time to leave for school. Harper tries to put her backpack on. She is pleasantly tired from her day. And her face lights up when we talk about school. All of these things tell me she is doing well and enjoying herself. Plus, we get updates from her teachers that support these cues as well. 

A long road ahead 

We are just getting started on this journey of school. And I know there are challenges ahead. But I’m thankful that our entry is starting on a positive note. And I’m getting more hopeful about her school journey and the joy she will get to bring to everyone.