Parenting never ends, if you are lucky.
I don’t know this because I have many years of parenting experience. I’m just getting started on my parenthood journey myself. I know this because I just spent the last week traveling across the country with my dad.
See when my husband and I decided we wanted to buy a campervan that was located in Los Angeles, CA, we were in a bit of a pickle with the logistics of getting it back to Richmond, VA. Between two small children and jobs, we weren’t quite sure how to accomplish the acquisition of the campervan. Until I was talking about our dream to my dad, who without hesitation volunteered to help get the campervan.
Now as a parent to a grown child, he could have easily and some cases would be appropriate to make us figure it out on our own. But through his excitement to help, I learned something about parenting. It’s about a relationship with your child.
Parenting is about a relationship with your child
My dad saw an opportunity to spend quality time with his daughter, support her in an adventure and make memories.
Parenting is not just about launching your child into adulthood. Shouting “see you later” when they turn 18 or graduate college is not the ultimate goal. That can lead to more than the independence you wanted for your child and result in isolation and a holiday-only relationship. I don’t know about you, but I still want my kids to call me, ask for advice and hang out with me when I’m old.
This isn’t the first time I witnessed the never ending-ness of parenthood. Albeit not as fun of an example, but I would be remissed not to mention the immense support my mom also provides me, especially when I entered motherhood. I could not do this without her. My first “ah-ha” moment came sitting at a birthday party. As I was busy getting food and feeding my daughter, my mom was busy making me a plate of food. And at that moment I realized parenting never ended and I was thankful to be the recipient.
Balance between helping and empowering your kids
In this early parenthood stage where I find myself now, it is physically draining to take care of their needs. In the midst of changing a diaper, feeding them a 16th snack for the day and carrying them to bed, I hope I don’t count the days until they are on their own, but relish in the importance of the relationship I’m building.
Building a firm foundation
My children rely on me for everything and it is exhausting, but this is just the foundation of our relationship. A foundation that my children will grow up on knowing they have parents that care about them, teach them to know and love God and support them in their dreams, wherever that takes them.
Maybe the ultimate goal is not launching your kids into the world to be on their own. Maybe the goal is to have a healthy parenting relationship, so your kid is comfortable asking for advice and listening, but still able to make their own decisions.
It’s not easy towing the line between smothering and empowering. The balance between helping your kids out and letting them soar on their own. But my parents have modeled this well.
I hope my kids in their 30s would want to spend a week in the car driving across the nation with me. Then I’ll be the lucky one.
