For friendships to thrive it takes time and investment. Then add in extra distance and this gets a little more challenging. But it is not impossible! In my previous blog – A guide to long distance friendships – part 1 – I shared about the heart and mindset you need to make long distance friendships work. Now, I want to get practical.
For the past 6 years my group of long distance friends keep in touch through various forms of communication. We’ve learned a thing or two about how to practically make this work. I want to share some of our secrets. Here are 6 ways to keep in touch and stay connected with your long distance friends.
1. Group texts
Set up a group text. This allows people to easily pop in to share news and updates with the group. The group thread becomes the always open channel of communication. We use an app GroupMe because it lets Apple & Android phones play nicely. It also makes it super easy to find the group, especially if no one has said anything for a while! Instead of scrolling through all your text messages to find the group thread, you can just head into the app, select the group and send your message.
2. Individual texts & calls
When you have a group of friends, it is still important to connect individually. Everything doesn’t have to be done as a large group. Send texts or call a friend when something brings up a memory or if you have a specific question or if you just want to chat with only one person.
3. Group video calls
This is probably my favorite and best thing we’ve implemented. We have a monthly scheduled video call – yes you heard me, it’s scheduled. With everyone in different time zones and life circumstances, we would never find a time to regularly connect. But with a little organization and planning it is possible.
We used a Doodle poll to find a time that worked for most people. It’s a standing date, once a month and whoever is free joins! If you are busy, it’s also no big deal. It’s casual, yet scheduled. An important lesson we learned was you need to be flexible. Through the years we’ve adjusted the day and time of this monthly date as life circumstances changed – aka babies.
4. Gifts & virtual parties
Sending a gift or throwing a party is a special way to let your friend know you care and are thinking of them. It doesn’t need to be extravagant or even consistent. A gift or party at anytime is meaningful. From virtual baby showers to secret Santa, it’s been fun to still be able to party even if we aren’t in the same room.
5. Snail mail
A handwritten note is such a joy to receive! So don’t forget about this type of communication. Just like a gift, it shows that you spent a little extra time to write and mail a letter. I have to admit that I’m not as good at sending mail. I’ve been on the receiving end more, but it always brightens my day.
6. In-person visits
Although in-person visits can be challenging to coordinate, it is so so worth it! Just like the monthly video calls, it takes some planning and organization to make it happen. You need to start with realistic expectations, everyone probably won’t make it and it’s not going to be as frequent as you would like.
Start a discussion months out about setting up a visit. Talk about when would be a good time for most (you can use a Doodle poll again) and think about destinations that are easy for everyone to get to. For my group, we pick a mostly central location that is drivable and then rent a house for a few days. We try to keep it affordable and low key. We make meals, talk and play games together. It is a really fun time to reconnect in person!
Don’t give up on a friendship just because of distance. With these practical tips you can keep the lines of communication open and stay connected. How do you keep in touch with your long distance friends?
