For most of my life I have hung my hat on three daily habits. These things helped me stay focused, productive and relaxed. Everything seemed to stay in balance if I made sure to get enough sleep, get a walk in and spend some time praying and reading the Bible daily. Of course there were days I didn’t hit all three habits. But my typical everyday rhythm for years included these things. It wasn’t until I sat down to write this blog that I realized these daily habits are a form of self-care.
From college to working full-time to married, these habits stayed pillars through these life transitions. However, I really didn’t think much about self-care until I became a mom. This season of motherhood has challenged me in all sorts of ways. Aside from the normal challenges motherhood brings such as sleepless nights and learning how to feed your baby, I also navigated an unexpected Down syndrome diagnosis for my firstborn and a premature birth with a long NICU stay with my second child.
Navigating a new season
I operated on survival mode for months. It all really wore me down. With these little human beings needing so much of my time and energy, I no longer had as much control to get these three habits into my life. I really struggled with this loss of control. For a while I abandoned the idea that I could sleep, take a walk and spend time with God consistently.
I don’t know what sparked the change exactly, but I realized that it was time to leave survival mode and start establishing a new normal. By starting with some small daily changes, a few months later I realized something. Long lasting self-care doesn’t look like weekend getaways, pedicures and solo trips to Target. It’s practicing these three daily habits that carried me through so much of my life. Each season these habits can look different and that it’s ok! I want to share what these habits look like for me now amidst this crazy season of caring for two small children.
Habit 1: Sleep
I have always prioritized sleep. One of my biggest concerns about becoming a mother was how I was going to handle the lack of sleep. I learned that you just do what you have to do to survive those early months. While in other seasons of life I could be more planned about getting the optimal amount of sleep – this just isn’t the case in early motherhood. My baby still needs me in the middle of the night sometimes. So I just can’t be certain how much sleep I’m going to get each night.
What I’ve learned is to grab sleep when I can. Some nights it looks like going to bed at 7pm. Other days it looks like a quick nap when the stars align and my toddler and baby are asleep at the same time. Sometimes it looks like waking up and starting my day at 4:30am, while others it’s going back to sleep at 6am for an extra hour. I just had to learn to embrace the randomness and not feel guilty about catching some extra shut eye whenever I can.
Habit Two: Walk
When I was in 7th grade, I discovered my love for taking walks and it quickly became a staple activity. Nothing really kept me from taking a walk. I would bundle up in the winter, grab an umbrella for the rain and take water with me on those really hot summer days. However, with two little ones I no longer had just myself to think about. Between feedings, naps and my work schedule, plus thinking about the appropriate weather for babies, finding time for a walk became increasingly challenging.
Without this physical and mental exercise I found myself more lethargic and not feeling myself. I knew something needed to change. I ended up signing up for an at-home workout program. After a few weeks, I was hooked and really loved the flexibility it gave me to workout in the morning, afternoon or evening. And now getting a walk in is a bonus to my routine.
Habit Three: Time with God
I used to be an avid prayer journaler. I have boxes of journals from over the years. Every once in a while I’ll flip through them and it’s neat to see all the answered prayers. However, I’m finding it increasingly harder to keep a Bible, journal and pen on my bedside table. Nothing is safe with a toddler’s curiosity skyrocketing. She gets into everything right now.
So, for now I’ve transitioned to using an app and it’s been great. While I hold Eli in the morning, I’m able to grab my phone and open up the Bible app. The app lets you invite friends as well – an added bonus of accountability as we share tidbits from the day’s reading. We’ve been working our way through the Bible Recap plan and it even has an accompanying podcast. One day I will get back to full on Bible study and prayer journaling, but in this season this is working so well.
There was a moment there I thought about giving in and thinking that I just couldn’t make time for these things in motherhood, but I’m glad I didn’t. I just had to be a little more creative and flexible.
