Harper turned 4 years old this month. And since we had an at-birth Down syndrome diagnosis, it also marks the beginning of our journey as parents of a special needs child. But we’ve come a long way from the initial shock of that life-changing diagnosis. And there are four great things that this little girl has taught me.
1 – Celebrate the little things
Starting at a young age, we measure our children against monthly milestones – sleeping through the night, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, and the list goes on. And it teaches us to celebrate the big milestones.
But with Harper, she never met a monthly milestone on time, so did that mean we should delay the celebration? No, we just learned how to celebrate all the little things in between the milestones.
Just this week we got a report from school that Harper initiated going to the potty. Is she potty trained yet? No, but we can celebrate this little momentum towards the bigger goal.
Or the other day Harper came up to me and signed “help please, mama” all in a row with no prompting. Is she talking yet? No, but we can celebrate the improvement in her communication through sign language.
Harper has taught me to see all the little reasons to celebrate. And I think we could all use a little more celebration in life. It’s just a better and more joyful way to live.
2 – Enjoy the scenic route
I’ve said it many times, we live on Harper’s timeline. And it’s a slower pace. It’s different from most people. But different and slower doesn’t mean that it is any less good. And it doesn’t mean that we are behind.
Sure there are challenges to moving slowly through life. But there are also immense blessings. And one of those is the space and time to savor watching my little girl grow up.
We are perusing through the garden, stopping here and there, making memories, taking pictures, and moving along not to keep up with the crowd ahead, but because it’s time for the next adventure.
And sometimes I can get impatient. But just one look into Harper’s eyes and I know we are right where we are supposed to be. She has taught me to slow down and enjoy the scenic route.
3 – Your worth does not come from accomplishing things
Ephesians 2:8 says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” My whole faith is built upon receiving a gift of salvation that I did not earn or deserve. Yet, there is still this deeply rooted idea in me of equating worth with accomplishing things.
And it trickled into the dreams I had for Harper’s future before she was born. I’m almost embarrassed that the majority of those dreams had to do with outward accomplishments like going to college or having a career. So, when we received Harper’s Down syndrome diagnosis it felt like all my dreams for her future were taken away. And it felt empty.
But that emptiness came from equating worth with accomplishments. I now know that Harper’s worth and value do not come from what she accomplishes. She was made in the image of God, just like everyone else. And that is what gives her worth and value. It’s what gives me and you, our worth and value too.
4 – Down syndrome is a gift
A gift is an uneven exchange. One person gives without expecting anything in return. The other receives without reciprocating. It’s freely giving. And most people enjoy receiving a gift.
But I didn’t always think Down syndrome was a gift. I knew so little about Down syndrome when Harper was born. And it was a fear of the unknown that settled like a fog blocking my view of a beautiful life.
But with each day as I get to know my daughter and see her personality blossom, I’m in awe of the beauty, joy, and life lessons she teaches me every day. And it is such a gift.
And I think people with Down syndrome are a gift to this hurried world. They remind us that worth does not come from accomplishment. We learn how to slow down and celebrate the little things. They show us how to treat each other with kindness.
Happy days ahead
Happy birthday Harper! You are such an amazing person. And I’m so thankful for all the lessons you teach me. And I thank God that you are a part of our family.
