It’s 4:45 pm and I’m getting dinner on the table. Yes, we eat super early because we have toddlers. And we love eating as a family. So that means an early dinner.
After dinner, we clean up, read a few books, play with magnet-tiles, say no to a snack, play with Duplos, say yes to a snack, turn on some music to dance around, and I think to myself, wow it must almost be time to get ready for bed.
Then I check my watch and it has only been 15 minutes. I am convinced that somehow time slows down between dinner and bed. I’m not sure how we can do so much, but such a small amount of time passes.
Time management
I’ve always been intrigued by time and love learning about time management. Mainly focusing on how I can accomplish more.
But I was never into time blocking where I planned out my day in 15-minute increments or into bullet journaling tracking every activity. I rely on a simple, paper to-do list.
I’ve always had more flow and flexibility in the way I think about my days. And it has served me well. I often get asked how I get everything done while enjoying ample time with friends and family, reading, taking walks, and sleeping.
As we welcomed our two children 18 months apart, they turned my world upside down. And definitely challenged my time management system. I now had two other outside forces ruling my schedule. And it was an adjustment.
But I didn’t anticipate a new lesson on time that parenthood and especially raising a child with a disability would give me.
Enjoy the journey
Anyone with babies and toddlers can attest that they grow and develop on their own timeline, not yours. We might provide some extra encouragement or support, but they are going to sleep when they are ready to sleep, walk when they are ready to walk, and talk when they are ready to talk. They take the time that development needs.
But with Harper, she takes extra time. She didn’t sit up on her own till she was a year old, didn’t walk till she was two years old, and we are still waiting for her to talk. So, it has forced us to slow down more than my counterparts.
And it is such a gift. To savor the moments and not be rushing to complete a milestone. She has taught me to enjoy the journey of not just her life, but my own as well.
The problem with productivity
Our society is so wrapped up in productivity, efficiency, and convenience. And I’m right there too. We focus on all the benefits we get out of pursuing those things. But rarely do we consider what we lose because of it.
We lose the ability to be patient and persevere when something lasts longer than expected.
We lose a sense of community because we are always focused on protecting our own time.
We lose our ability to see worth in something that provides no monetary value.
But most of all we miss out on the joy of the journey. We long for the destination, not realizing there is joy, beauty, thankfulness, and enjoyment to experience in the moment of struggle, waiting, and working.
There is a better way
I’m pretty certain that I would be rushing along with the milestones of life if not for the Down syndrome diagnosis that accompanied my firstborn.
It forced me to consider what was truly important. My dreams for her life before she was born were so accomplishment-based. I didn’t even realize how entrenched I was in this culture. Until those were stripped away. But what was left was so much better.
I realized that using my time well can look like a million different things. Somedays it is sitting on a step stool in the bathroom steadying my daughter on the potty. Other days it is writing and sharing the things I’m learning. It doesn’t have to be about grand accomplishments for me or my children. I don’t have to do everything, be everywhere to make an impact with my time. And it has been liberating.
Our time is finite like a fence around a playground. Are you going to spend your time wondering what is on the other side of the fence or happily play on the slide, swings, and sandbox enjoying what’s in front of you now? I know what I want to do.
